Impulse
by vivalafiction
Summary: She was born of peace and kindness, but all she ever wanted to be was brave. When she, a young girl from Amity, chooses the path unfollowed and enters Dauntless, her world flips upside down. How will she cope with her new faction, and the lingering eyes of a certain Dauntless leader? (AU/Rated M)
1. Chapter 1

_I would always remember the feeling of freedom. The way that it enraptured me, body and soul. I vowed I would never forget my roots, as I stood there looking out at the sea of wheat. This would always be home to me, it was where I grew up, where my parents were. No matter where I found myself going, this would always be where my heart was. It couldn't be any other way._

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><p>The sun was beginning to set, a wash of crimson painted over the crops, and I heard my mother calling my name. "Rosalie," she said, "come inside now, it's time for dinner!" And so I went, rolling on the balls of my feet and taking one last, sweeping glance of the land before I begrudgingly retired.<p>

Our home was simple. There were no extra furnishings aside from what we truly needed. I took in the sight of my father's red coat slung across the back of the couch, and the way my little sisters pulled at each other's golden dresses in fascination at the new dirt-stains that slathered the hems. "A dirty skirt means hard work," my mother told them, kissing their cheeks affectionately. "Go and change, supper is nearly ready."

I helped my father set the table and serve the bread and soup. Napkins were tossed by the plates by my mother, who danced around the table, her long silver-brown hair coloring the world around her as she swayed. I relished in the sight of such a happy moment; it might be my last.

Lillian and Daisy were at the table as soon as they'd switched into loose-fitting yellow nightgowns that looked reminiscent of my own clothing when I was their age. "Sit, sit!" My mother insisted, grinning and planting a wet kiss on my father's mouth. It amazed me how loving they were. Never had I seen them fight. Never had I seen anyone from Amity fight. I poked at my bread, recalling the peace serum they mixed into the dough, wondering what the faction would be like without it.

When I looked up I noticed my entire family's eyes were on me. "Did you hear me?" My mother raised a brow at me and then laughed, "silly girl, always drifting away. I asked if you're feeling alright. You haven't touched the stew. It's your favorite."

I looked at my bowl, filled to the brim, and spooned a bite into my mouth. It was warm and comforting, and I smiled at my mom. "I'm fine," I replied reassuringly, though neither she nor my father looked convinced.

We ate with the rising moon, and once its brilliance was fully upon us, the girls ran out to bathe in it's glowing light one last time before bed. I watched them, a pang of jealousy tearing at my heart. They were so carefree and happy, and I was sure that they would remain in Amity for their entire lives. Being trusting and kind and forgiving were easy for them in a way it had never been for me.

I feared that I wouldn't be put in Amity, that the test would tell me I was meant for Erudite or Abnegation, or even Candor or Dauntless. But even more so, I feared that I _would_ be put in Amity. It would always be my home, but I often found myself wondering about the men and women dressed in black that chased after the train, and those who wore thick glasses and blue suits, walking about with an air of absolute confidence. Could I ever fit in with such different crowds? Could I ever become accustomed to such alien ways of life?

A hand clasped over my shoulder and I looked up at my father. "I don't think I've ever seen you so serious, Rosie," he said lightly, laughing. Then his eyes intensed and he frowned. The sight of it was alarming, for my father never did anything but smile. "Are you scared?" he asked.

I shrugged, wrapping my arms around myself. "A little," I admitted, though we both knew it was more than just a _little_. "Dad, what if I'm not in Amity?"

He pulled me in for a tight hug and sighed into the crook of my neck, the way he had done since before I could remember. "Your mother and I will always love you, Rosie. No matter where you go, we'll always, _always_ love you."

That night, while my sisters snored in their beds beside me, I laid awake, thinking of the day to come. I could hear my mother crying in the front room and my father working steadily to console her. Tears pricked my eyes. Would these two days before the choosing ceremony be the last I would spend in Amity? Were they to be the last I would spend with my family? I have never been so uncertain of anything in my life.


	2. Chapter 2

I dressed in my best; a gown of glittery gold with a knitted white cardigan over top. They were given to me by my mother, who now worked to comb out my hair. While my mother and sisters shared straight, deep brown hair, I had the same creamy curls that my father did. My father always called me his milk-and-honey girl, his golden girl. I wondered if I would I ever hear those words of endearment again.

"Don't worry yourself over the test," my mother said suddenly, her lips pursed. "I know you'll do fine." A smile once again marked its claim over her lips and she kissed my cheek tenderly. "Go on now, be on your way. And don't be late for dinner!"

I made my way for the truck slowly, taking in all that I could of my home. The houses were simple, the people were simple, yet everything was so rich and delightful. To my left, I saw a little girl chasing a young boy with vigor, trying to pounce on him. To my right a mother sobbed as her son marched his way to the truck. It was Drew Potts, the boy who ate a whole jar of dirt at only two years old. He was tall now, where he had once been the smallest in the neighborhood, with unruly red hair and crooked teeth. He turned and smiled at me, and I offered a smile back. Would I ever see Dirt-Boy-Drew again after the choosing ceremony?

We all climbed into the trucks and away we rode, bumping up and down the road. To our right was the train, zooming on by. "_Banjo strummin' softie!_" called one of the members of Dauntless, and Clarence Sommers strummed his banjo in happy obligeance, as if he were unaware that they'd insulted us rather than complimented us.

"You won't say anything back?" I questioned Sommers.

"Forgiveness," he replied nonchalantly, smiling away and waving as the train passed by. That alone should have been a sign that I was not meant for Amity. I had forgotten one of the most important manifestos that Amity offered.

The truck stopped just short of the main entrance of the building. We were the first faction to arrive, followed by Erudite and Abnegation. Candor came fourth, eyeing us Amity like prey, and last came the Dauntless. I watched in wonderment as they leaped out of the train, rolling to the grass below and running towards their line. They looked as happy as any Amity I'd ever seen, and I envied their high spirits on a day like this, where our whole lives could be changed forever.

The doors opened and we were shoveled inside, one by one, awaiting our turns to be called for the test. I looked up as Dirt-Boy-Drew was called upon, and he merrily went on his way to the testing room. How could someone be so sure of themselves, so positive of their future? It made me question myself.

I was one of the last to be called after. "Rosalie Thomas!" said a man in grey. I was ushered into a small room, with mirrored walls and bright lights and a queer white chair in the center, and what seemed to be a computer beside it. "Sit," said a voice, and I watched as a woman came through the back room. She had on a sleek blue dress with a white jacket and silver rings on her fingers. Her black hair was tied up in a bun and she eyed me carefully. "I would think you Amity would arrive in proper fashion, yet you all look as if you've just come from the fields."

I picked at my golden dress with pursed lips. "These are my best clothes," I replied. We Amity couldn't help if our clothes were dirty; we worked, lived, breathed dirt.

The attendant raised a brow, unimpressed, and offered me a glass filled with a strange blue serum before strapping electrodes to my head. "Drink that," she commanded me, and I fell hesitant, staring at the drink cautiously.

"What is it?" I asked, but she was already focused on the next task. I took a deep breath and kicked back the cup, drinking the serum quickly. Within moments I was alone in the room of mirrors. I got up and looked around for the Erudite woman, but she was gone.

Slowly, I rose from the chair and made my way to the mirror. My long blonde curls were covered with dust, my pretty dress was not so pretty in this light. My eyes were grass, and my skin was pale wheat. I looked every bit an Amity stereo-type. When I turned away from my reflection, I saw another reflection, only it frowned and pointed at two towers with trays holding a knife and a wheel of cheese. "Choose," it told me.

I pursed my lips and looked between the two items. What could they be for? Hesitantly, I grabbed the cheese, and suddenly the pillars were gone and before me was a ravage dog. I froze in terror. It was like no dog I'd ever seen before. I threw the cheese and the foaming mutt scurried off to chase it. A little girl, one that looked much like I did when I was young, ran after the dog, giggling, calling "Puppy!" as she went, and I felt my anxiety rise. That dog could tear her arm off.

Before I had time to act, the girl was spotted by the rabid dog, and it began a merciless chase. "No!" I cried, whistling as loud as I could. It curbed on it's heel and suddenly it was only a puppy, panting happily. I went to take a step forward, to reach the frightened little girl, but I fell through the ground like it was water.

I landed on a seat of a fast moving bus. "Excuse me, young lady, but might I ask you a question?" My head snapped up and I saw a man beside me. His identity was concealed by a newspaper. I nodded slowly, though his demeanor made me uneasy. "Good lass. Now tell me, do you know the man in the paper?" He thrust the newspaper into my face, and I had to refrain myself from shoving it back at him in fear. Something wasn't right about this.

I pursed my lips and took a good look at the man in the picture. He _did_ seem familiar somehow, but should I tell this stranger? What were his intentions? "No," I replied carefully, crossing my legs and folding my arms. "I'm sorry but I don't think I've ever seen him before."

"Oh please, if you know him you must tell me. It will help me, please, don't you want to help me?" He rose and suddenly the paper dropped, and in my face was now that of a burnt, scarred man. "Don't you want to help an old man?" He questioned, stabbing his finger into my cheek.

I woke up quickly, sitting up and looking around for the burnt man, but he was gone and in his place was the Erudite woman. She looked just as uninterested as before, and I felt my heart drop. "You didn't need to worry, just like ninety-five percent of the test takers, you've scored for your home faction. Amity."

Her words echoed in my ears the whole way home.

I entered my house and immediately the girls jumped on me. "Rosie!" they sang in tandem. "Rosie's home, Rosie's home!"

"How'd it go?" My father asked, coming around the corner and plucking the twins off of me.

I looked away and sighed before putting on my best smile. "Amity," I told him, and he gave me a glowing grin.

"See," he said, "you had nothing to worry about."

I watched him carry my sisters to the table, where my mother did her usual swaying dance, shaking a tambourine. Is this what I wanted for myself? Were dirt and wheat and big, noisy trucks all that life could offer me? I thought back, imagining the train flying across the tracks and all of the brave Dauntless jumping out of it as if they had nothing to lose. Couldn't I do that, too?

"Rosie?" My mom was standing by my chair with a weak smile on her face, and I went to her. She wrapped her arms around me and I relaxed into her touch. Wasn't being around those who loved me, those who knew me, enough? "Why don't you get some rest, Rosie. We can send some supper in your room with you if you're hungry. I'm sure you want some alone time."

I nodded, grateful for my mother's understanding, and bee-lined for the bedroom that I shared with Lillian and Daisy. Their beds were covered with dirty clothes and flowers that they'd picked that day. I fingered one of their little skirts and felt my heart break. I loved my family more than anything, but would I let that decide for me? But how could I leave them... I could understand why so many stayed with their home factions. This was where I lived my entire life. Could I give that up on a whim?

My father came in and placed a bowl with soup and bread onto the bedside table. I expected him to leave, but he stayed and closed the door behind him. "Rosalie," he said, and I turned to face him. It was not often that he used my full name. "You've been down lately. What's going on, pumpkin?" He wrapped his arm around me as I sat at his side and laid my head on his shoulder.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered, "I don't know if I... if I want to stay." It was hard to admit, especially to my father, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. I craved a different life, all the while I was terrified of leaving. "I don't want to work in the fields my whole life or pretend to love banjos, and I've never been a good dancer..."

He laughed and held me tighter. "Oh, my milk-and-honey girl. No matter what you do, we will forgive you," he said, kissing my temple. "Remember, Rosie, do what your heart tells you."

With that he left, and I was alone again. I was even more conflicted now, knowing that they would love me regardless of what I chose. Would I follow the test, or would I follow my heart, as my father told me to do? I curled into the blankets and knew that sleep would never come. I loved the rolling hills of wheat and the sweet smell of cakes from the bakery, and the way that freedom felt. But I was so ready and eager to give it up for something new and exciting. What if what I chose wasn't as exciting as I had expected, though? What if I hated my new faction and had to live the rest of my life factionless? My mind raced a mile a minute.

Tomorrow was the choosing ceremony, and I didn't even know who I was anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was peaking over the hills, bright and shining gloriously. It's light graced the living room windows, flooding like liquid gold over the pale yellow rugs. My mother was to remain home with the girls today, as they were too young to attend the ceremony and couldn't be left alone, so she spent her time with me now, in the early morning, running a brush through my freshly washed hair.

"I remember when you were just a little girl," she said softly as she caressed my curls, "this hair would drive me wild. It was always so tangled. Once, I thought a bird had made it's nest here." She touched the crown of my head affectionately and I leaned into her. I loved my mother, and I tried to relish in the feeling of her warm touch and sweet words. I might not hear them again.

"Look at you, just beautiful. You'll be the prettiest girl in The Hub," she said once she finished and pressed down my dress. It was made of crimson cloth with inlays of gold, and a ribbon of velvet red was tied into my hair. "My little girl, all grown up. How did the time go?" I hugged and kissed my mom and told her I loved her. My father was at my side and walking me to the front door before I could hear her cry.

We made it to the truck promptly, and in a mater of moments we were driving away. I felt a pain deep in my chest. I was leaving my home today; would it be for the last time? I grabbed my dad's hand and squeezed it tight, looking up at him for support. He smiled, his eyes mirroring my own, hinting his worry for me. "You'll know when the time comes," he said gently, and I hoped he was right.

The trucks stopped in front of The Hub and we entered in a rush. Some of the parents were already crying as their children went to sit in their section and they took their seats below. I kissed my father's cheek one last time before I made my way up the stairs to an open seat. The room was a barren wash of the rainbow, with the Erudite blues and Amity reds and yellows. The Candor, Abnegation, and Dauntless were just a monochromatic as ever in white, black, and grey. Everyone was chattering away, until a woman dressed in the blue of Erudite stepped onto center stage.

"Good morning," she greeted us all, smiling. "Today is a very important day for all of you. Today, you will choose your faction. It is a journey that you will take, starting from this moment on."

I stopped listening after she began speaking the manifestos of the different factions. None of it mattered to me, at least not more than my decision did, and I had still not decided. I stared at the bowls on the table. Grey stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, glass for Candor, and lit coals for Dauntless. Where would my blood spill?

The first name was called. Some Zachary Jones. His parents in Erudite looked after him longingly when he let his blood grace the grey stones of Abnegation. The pain in his mother's eyes was well masked, but I could still see it. It was the same look my father had as he glanced up at me from below.

When my name was finally called, I froze in my seat. I still hadn't made up my mind, but the other teens beside me pushed me up from my seat with laughter and I found myself wandering aimlessly down the steps. I looked back at my dad before walking up to the podium, and he nodded encouragingly. I knew he was terrified, though, that I would not pick to remain in Amity. It was a look I would remember for the rest of my life. Perhaps I should have heeded it.

I climbed up to the metallic bowls and was handed the knife. I eyed each faction's bowl carefully, curiously, before putting the knife to my palm. Would I be Amity, like the test told me? Or would I be something else? Something better? I recalled once more the bravery of the men and women that jumped in and out of the train as the knife slid down my open palm. Impulse overcame me and before I could calculate my actions my blood had dropped to the burning coals of Dauntless, boiling away to nothing.

My new faction screamed in excitement, and my eyes found my father amidst the shocked Amity crowd. He was struggling not to cry, and the parents around him were hugging him, trying to comfort a father that had just lost his daughter. I thought of how my mother would break down when he went home alone. I wanted to run back and tell them I changed my mind, but I was whisked away by a tall man in black, sent to stand by the other Dauntless. _I am Dauntless now_, I thought, fear creeping into me. What had I done?

After the ceremony was over, I was ushered out with the Dauntless crowd, but my eyes were on my father. I would never see him again. He waved sadly, and I hoped he would forgive me, as he promised he would.

My new faction was running down the streets, hooting and jumping over trash bins. I tried desperately to keep up. When they began climbing up the railing to reach the train tracks I was already fatigued. How could I keep up with these athletes? I'd never had need to run in my entire life, let alone climb up anything. This was all so foreign. What had I done...

The train was coming and I had barely caught my breath. It passed by us quickly and I watched as they all ran to catch up with it, jumping on and slamming their fists into the sensors to open the doors. Before I realized it, it had nearly passed me. "Hurry up!" One of the Dauntless-born called out to me, and I began running. I tried to jump aboard, but I missed and had to teeter on the edge of the rails for a moment before I tried again, this time being successful. I sighed in relief once on the train, and hoped this was the hardest part.

"Hey, a banjo strummin' softie hopped on board!" One of the Dauntless-born boys cried in laughter, pointing at me, mocking me. "I'm surprised you even made it up the pillars. What are you doing on here, peace-freak? Forget where the trucks were?"

More and more teens began to laugh at me, and I felt the sting of rejection flowing in my veins. "Don't listen to them," came a voice, and I turned to see a girl with short brown hair and light grey eyes. "I'm Alys," she said, offering a hand. _Candor_, I thought, glancing down at her black-and-white attire. "What's your name?"

I pursed my lips, shaking her hand. I'd never met a Candor face-to-face, but my parents had told me of their bawdy ways. Alys didn't seem as bad as my parents might have lead me to believe, though. "I'm Rosalie," I said.

"Nice to meet you, Rosalie. Maybe if we stick together, we'll make it through this." She smiled and I felt more comfortable in her presence, though I still longed for the option to change my faction. I could tell already that I'd made a grave mistake.

A woman in deep purple and black told us to get ready and I peered out the opening of the train-car to see people leaping out of the train and onto the rough rooftops below. "They're_ jumping_," I said incredulously, gasping when one nearly didn't make it and fell, only_ just_ grabbing the ledge. I looked back at Alys and she seemed just as shocked as I was.

"Together," she said, and all I could do was nod. We backed into the back of the compartment, and then we ran. Never in my life had I ever felt anything as perfect as flying out of that train, nor anything as terrifying. Had I calculated the length correct? Would I fall onto the roof, or the streets ten stories below? Nothing was sure in the air, as the wind licked my skin and my dress flew up like a parachute.

I cried out in pain when I landed on the gravel-topped building. My leg was scraped up and I felt an aching pain in my forehead, but it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Alys and I laughed, feeling silly for it wasn't as bad as we'd thought. We caught up with the rest of the group, standing by the ledge of the building.

"Listen up," shouted the man standing on the ledge. He had short blonde hair and bold tattoos. "My name is Eric, and I'm one of the Dauntless leaders." He spoke with clarity, eyeing us all like a hawk. He nearly scoffed when he caught sight of me.

He gestured to the edge of the building, where there was a gaping void. "If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in," he says. "Who's going to jump first?"

Everyone looked back and forth between each other. Finally a young Dauntless-born boy raised his hand. "I'll jump!" He called, heading to the front of the crowd. I watched him, tall and strong, with feathery brown hair. He was handsome, but I saw a recklessness in him. "What's at the bottom?" He asked as he hopped onto the ledge.

"Guess you'll have to find out," Eric said as the boy leaped. His screams resonated in my ears, and I stood frozen in fear until I was the last one left. "Hey, softie!" called out the Dauntless leader. "Your turn," he said, and I hesitantly walk up to the ledge, looking down. "If your too afraid, then you aren't meant for Dauntless. Maybe the factionless will have an easier initiation."

I didn't appreciate his words, and I looked up at him, frightened but determined. "I can do it," I told him, climbing onto the ledge.

"Then _do it_." He looked at me expectantly and I held my breath as I allowed myself to fall over the edge.

Once more I was in a state of carefree perfection. My whole body was like a feather, floating down to its destination. I could see Eric looking over the ledge, and when I hit the trampoline at the bottom I couldn't help but release a peal of laughter. All that build up, all that fear, for what? Nothing but a net. The edge of the trampoline was pulled down and I was helped out by a tall man, with eyes bright from sunlight. He looked curiously at me, presumably wondering whether or not it was a joke.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Rosalie," I said, and the whole crowd cheered when he announced me as Rosalie, Last Jumper.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad here after all.


	4. Chapter 4

After being shown the Pit, the center of life in Dauntless, we were brought to our room by Four, one of our trainers throughout initiation. "This is where you'll be staying," he said, and an Erudite transfer pursed his lips nervously.

"The boys or the girls?" He asked, looking around the room. It was barren and plain, with basic beds and trunks under them for our things. The bathrooms were just as open.

"Both," said our instructor with a slight smirk.

Some hooted, some felt uncomfortable, but I found myself, for the first time since being in the Dauntless faction, to be indifferent. Amity all slept together, boys, girls, young and old. We were open with each other, giving and kind. But I must remember that I was no longer Amity, that I was Dauntless now.

We were given new clothes and changed quickly before heading to the dining hall. The tight-fitting black suit made me nervous, for I'd never worn anything but loose-fitting dresses. To truly become Dauntless, we threw our old clothes into a burning garbage bin. I felt a part of me melt away as I watched my crimson gown catch fire and burn away to nothing. I was now and forever Dauntless, and I tried not to think about how my family was doing right now, eating their first dinner without me. I had a new family now- my new faction.

The dining hall was loud and the music was so noisy, so angry, that I was taken aback. In Amity, everything was so soft and serene, but in Dauntless everything was harsh and fast-paced.

Alys and I made our ways through the grid of tables and ended up sitting at a table with most of the transfers. There were a few Erudite and the rest were Candor, no Abnegation. I was the only Amity. There were metal boxes of food in front of us and I looked at it all, confused. There was no soup, and the bread looked strange, but I grabbed some anyways. Beside me, Alys munched on a steak. "Mmm," she murmured between bites, "at least they know how to cook. This is great, try some!"

She thrust the meat into my face and I shook my head. I'd never had meat before. Amity didn't believe in hurting living beings, we only ate what we grew in the fields. "Amity don't eat animals," said one boy, with shaggy red-gold hair. "They don't believe in hurting them, and won't eat them when they're killed. They live mostly on a plant-based diet."

"Erudite," Alys muttered, narrowing her eyes at him and grinning. "Why would a bookworm want to be in Dauntless?"

"Why would a _Candor_ want to be in Dauntless?" he retorted, laughing. "Maybe_ that's_ why you're here," he said, pointing at her plate. "For the food."

She threw her head back and laughed, "yes, I'm here for the_ food_." She rolled her eyes and took another bite, and the Erudite transfer grinned.

"I'm more curious about the Amity," said the boy next to him, with silvery-blue eyes. "What's a wheat-picker like you doing here? Aren't you supposed to support peace and love and all that nonsense?" An Erudite.

I pushed my plate away from me and shrugged. "We're all allowed to choose," I said simply.

"Yeah, but why choose Dauntless? This is the complete opposite faction from Amity. Are you a spy or something?"

This boy was too intent on my intentions at Dauntless, and I felt heat rising in my cheeks. "I'm not a spy," I replied sharply, about to get up and leave before a hand grabbed my own and pulled me back. When I looked to see who it was, I came face to face with the Dauntless leader who stood on the rooftop with us.

"Leaving so soon, softie?" he asked, raising a brow. His eyebrow piercing glinted in the light.

I looked down at my twiddling thumbs. "I've lost my appetite," I replied quietly. It was a lame excuse. Surely he'd heard everything.

He huffed and crossed his arms. "Here in Dauntless, we don't just run away when someone is _hurting our feelings_. That's the mark of a coward. You better toughen up if you want to fit in here." His words rang with the truth that I didn't want to hear, and before I could say anything in return he had already gone.

Alys tugged on my suit and I sat back down, dumbfounded. I knew he was right, but I didn't want to believe it. I looked up at the boy with the silvery-blue eyes, and he was snickering like he'd just gotten his way. "Forget that idiot," my new friend told me, and the redhead Erudite, who introduced himself as Jeremy, nodded in agreement.

Only minutes later, the crowd hushed and everyone looked up to where there was a path ascending from the base of the hall. There stood Eric, who was watching me intently until I caught his eye. He was so intense, and frightening. I wondered if he was trying to scare me out of Dauntless, because if that was the goal he was succeeding.

"Everybody listen up," he shouted, and everyone gave him their undivided attention. "Today we gained many new initiates. Boys and girls that will one day soon be men and women, and eventually join us in our every day life here at Dauntless. Let's welcome them with open arms!"

It was short and to the point. They were the kindest words he'd said since I'd first heard him on that rooftop. I was clapping along with the rest of them, when suddenly hands were all around me and I was hoisted into the air. It was such a liberating feeling. I hooted in excitement with Alys, our hands clasped tight together in triumph. There were so many different aspects to this faction, and I could certainly get used to this one. I felt welcomed for the first time since my arrival.

"This is _crazy_!" Alys shrieked with a giggle, and I laughed along with her. It _was_ crazy. Jeremy was next to begin the crowd-surf back to our corridor, and then the other Erudite transfer that had accused me of being a spy. After him was a small girl with her white-blonde hair plaited down her back. I recalled Jeremy referring to her as Pia. We all were in awe of this moment, and I wished it would never end. In that moment I was euphoric.

When we finally reached our room, we all had a good laugh about it, even the snotty silvery-blue eyed Erudite. His name, I learned, was Evan Mathews. He was the nephew of the leader of Erudite, Jeanine Mathews. "An informant," Alys commented with a roll of her eyes. She relayed to me her doubt that he was there because he truly wanted to be Dauntless, like the rest of us did.

I slid onto my bunk, which lay sandwiched between Alys and Pia's beds. Beside Alys was Jeremy, and next to Pia was a boy named Tommy. We all sat up and shared stories, and for a moment I felt like I was back in Amity. The way we were so close and open was very reminiscent of my old life.

"I left my whole family behind," Pia said sadly, looking down at her fingers, which criss-crossed slowly. She was another Candor transfer. "My mom and dad, and my little brother Joey. I really miss them."

Alys recounted on the family that she'd left behind as well. She'd had only a mother, and she'd been erratic but loving. "I still remember her face when I chose Dauntless. I felt so guilty, because I was her third kid to leave her, her last kid, and I was supposed to stay home and take care of her... but I have to take care my myself, too. It wasn't right that I would have had to give up my life for her."

I thought about my own mother, at home with Lillian and Daisy and my dad. They would be asleep by now, but how could they sleep not knowing if I was safe? If I even made it on the train? I wished I could go back to Amity and braid my little sisters' hair one last time and hug and kiss my parents. This abrupt change of lifestyle was tearing me apart at the seams.

"Yeah," Jeremy said with a sigh, "I left my mom back home too. She didn't really care if I left though. She always like my little sister more. She was smarter, more like an Erudite."

I looked to the redhead and tilted my head. "You can't really believe that, can you? That your mother didn't care that you left?" He shrugged and the realization that not all families were like those in Amity slowly crept up on me. What if she really didn't care that he left? It was an alien thought. My mother was probably crying even now, hours later. A seed of guilt was planted in my belly at the thought of it.

"What about you, Rosalie? What about your family?" It was Tommy who asked, the third Candor transfer.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a moment, thinking of what to say. Should I tell them about the loving family I left behind on a whim? Or should I keep quiet and keep my weakness to myself? "They were kind," I finally settled on, saying no more. They took the hint.

In the dark of our first night in Dauntless, Pia wept openly. They were the most chest-wracking, painful sobs that I'd ever heard. A few of the initiates even screamed at her to shut up, but that only made her all the more terrified and the crying grew louder.

I said nothing, just slid my bunk closer to hers, and wrapped an arm around her for comfort. She had nobody here, and the least I could do was make her feel less alone. With each passing minute, she became quieter and quieter, and eventually fell asleep, and along with her, I found myself drifting.

I dreamt of Amity, and it would not be for the last time.


	5. Chapter 5

We were woken up by a loud banging.

I looked up to see Four standing before us, a metal baton in his hand. He was swinging it against the pipes, eyeing us all with a look of exasperation. "Get up," he said bluntly, "training starts now."

I rinsed off and changed into another all black suit, trying my hair up with the red velvet ribbon that my mother had given me before the choosing ceremony. We were supposed to burn all of our clothing from our previous faction, but I just couldn't let this little piece of cloth go. It was my last tie to Amity.

After Alys and Pia were dressed, we followed the rest of the transfers to the training room. It was large, with a large circle in the middle. The Arena. In the middle of it was Eric, dressed head-to-toe in black leather. His eyes dared across the sea of faces and lingered on mine. I felt uncomfortable under his scrutinizing stare and wished that I could slip away and hide behind someone else. But I was already on a tightrope, it seemed, so I stared back until he was satisfied and looked onwards.

"Today we begin training. You will see in your room that there is a chalkboard. That is where we will put your ranks. Everything you do will be scored, and we will not hold back." His words were as clear as ever, and loud. They seemed to bounce off the uneven stone walls and echo in my ears.

He stayed in the center of the Arena, watching us all. Alys and Jeremy went to the dummies, and I followed a puffy-eyed Pia and Tommy to the punching bags. Four came to us and told us what to do and how to hit, not repeating himself before he left. I'd barely heard him and stared at the bag clueless, while Tommy began to slam his forearms and fists into it quickly. Pia did as Tommy did, and I did as Pia did.

I had never before punched anything, and my knuckles and forearms already felt bruised. I couldn't hit as hard as Tommy or Pia, even when I tried to hit my hardest, and before long I was rubbing my hands to try and ease the pain. "Last Jumper," called the voice I recognized as Eric's, "and First Jumper. In the ring. Let's see what we're working with."

It had to be a joke. We hadn't been training for more than thirty minutes. I looked around for support, hoping the others would think this was ridiculous too, but they all looked down, not wanting to go against the leader's wishes. When I watched the tall, feathery-haired Dauntless-born boy enter the Arena I trembled. How could I fight that monster? I was so weak still...

"Today, Last Jumper." The blonde did not seem amused at my hesitation and I swallowed my fear as I slowly made my way to the Arena. I could feel those cold, calculating eyes on me, along with the rest of the initiates. Fighting was against everything that I was raised to believe, and I couldn't fully comprehend that I was about to do it.

The Dauntless-born sized me up, looking at me like I was a fly on his plate that he needed to squash. I felt vulnerable, horrified that I had to fight this hulk of a sixteen year old. "You'll go until you can't anymore," Eric said, "or you concede," added Four. And the boy took his first punch.

I was hit right on the left-side jaw, falling to the ground. The pain hadn't even hit me yet and I scrambled to get up. Putting my fists up in defense, I quivered as he neared. He came closer and closer, and I drew back further and further. Eventually I was off of the mat and Eric was not happy about it. "Stop playing and _fight_, softie."

I glanced his way, and he nodded his head in the direction of the Arena, where the boy stood waiting.

Slowly, I worked my way back onto the mat, and was struck right in the same place as before, landing on the floor with a _thud_. Never had I felt so dizzy or disoriented. But I got up again. _I cannot be weak_, I told myself,_ I cannot let them see me as weak_. I would be an easy target if they thought me weak, and I was determined to make myself a force to be reckoned with. If I didn't, I would be factionless.

He swung again, but I ducked this time and Alys shouted, "Go Rosalie!"

A sharp glare from Eric silenced her.

I took my chance to jab at him and hit his side, causing him to grunt in pain. Excitement flooded over me. I _wasn't_ weak. I could cause pain. I jabbed again and again, but in my defenseless glee he grabbed my wrist and flipped me on my back, causing the wind to leave me. I was breathless and in excruciating pain, worse than I'd ever felt.

"_I concede_," I choked out, unable to get up yet.

Alys and Jeremy ran to my sides and helped me stand. Eric watched, eyeing us maliciously. "You're weak," he said, and I felt like I'd been punched anew. I'd tried my hardest in the Arena, yet they still thought me weak. "You hit the ground and get hurt, and you think that means you're done? This isn't tree-hugging Amity. This is Dauntless. You go until you _can't_."

"I _couldn't_," I defended. Couldn't he see how hard I tried in the Arena? Couldn't he see that I was struggling just to stand?

He laughed in a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. He came to me and grabbed me by the hand, leading me from the training room. The others followed in awe. I could barely keep up, stumbling after him. He was nearly dragging me.

He took me to the Chasm, out to the bridge, and, suddenly, dropped me.

I squirmed in pain, grunting as I worked to grab the bars. What was he _doing_? One slip and I would fall to my death.

"You got three options. Hang there and I'll forget your cowardice, fall and die, or give up. But if you give up you're out." His words were cold as the morning wind, and I felt the tears prick in my eyes. I wanted to give up, I wanted to scream that I didn't care anymore, that I would rather be factionless than be in Dauntless, but something in me held on. I felt my hair going loose and I felt my eyes widen. _The ribbon_.

"Time," he said, and Jeremy and Tommy came to help me up. "Dauntless never give up," he told us all, while Tommy and Jer tried to aid my walk back to the training room. I fought from their arms and looked into the chasm, where my red velvet ribbon floated down, disappearing into the darkness. It was the last piece of Amity I had left, the last piece of my mother, my family. I watched it long after it was gone, even when everyone else returned to the training room, everyone but Eric.

"Get up," he said, and I obeyed. My arms were weak, my legs were trembling, and I felt soulless as I walked down the hallway. I'd lost the ribbon, and I'd lost the fight.

I reached the corridors as everyone was showering and changing. Alys and Pia came to me immediately, and I fell in their arms, letting the tears fall. Whereas Pia was the weak one last night, I now filled her place. I wept openly, fingers touching my black-and-blue jaw. I lifted my shirt up to reveal deep purple bruises on my back. It felt like my whole body was on fire.

"Come on, Rosalie, let's go get some dinner. It'll help," Pia said softly. It wouldn't help at all, but I went with them, slowly and painfully rising from the bed.

We entered the dining hall, Jeremy and Tommy following behind us. I saw the Dauntless-born boy from the Arena, the First Jumper that threw me onto my back. He waved, looking apologetic, and I turned my head away. I would try and be strong, like my father would want me to be. I stood straighter, thought it made my back burn, and held my head high as we chose a table.

We sat in the back of the hall, away from the others. "What did you drop back there at the Chasm?" Jeremy asked, and I looked up from my plate.

_My dignity_, I thought. _My will to go on_. "Nothing," I replied. "Just couldn't believe how far of a drop it was." The lie rolled off my tongue as quick as if it were a truth.

When we finished dinner, Alys and Pia and the guys went to the common room. "Are you sure you don't want to come, Rose?" Jeremy asked, but I shook my head and instead wandered the halls, enjoying being alone. In Dauntless, we initiates were always together, so having my own air to breathe was a great comfort.

I slumped down in the hall between the Chasm and the training room. I could imagine Eric dragging me to what could have been my death. I kicked a rock and felt tears coming once again. I was born in Amity, I wasn't made for this life. For anger and aggression. The spur of the moment idea that this would be exciting and new had ruined my whole life, and I wished I could go back to being with my father and mother, with Lillian and Daisy. This wasn't my home. Amity was my home. I would never fit in here.

I heard footsteps, and they stopped right in front of me. When I looked up, I saw just who I was avoiding.

"Why are you out here?" Eric asked me, crossing his arms.

I shrugged. "I wanted to be alone," I replied, looking away.

His hand grabbed my chin and yanked my head to face him. Pain shot through my jaw. "Looking away makes you submissive. It makes you weak."

"_Everything_ makes me weak," I retorted, "you've thought I was a pansy from the moment you saw me on the roof. Everyone thinks it." I was in a dark place, and my voice was turning cynical. "I'm better off factionless. You wouldn't have to waste your breath trying to train me just to fail that way."

He laughed, guttural and crude. "You think I'm going to give you special attention just because you come from Amity? You chose Dauntless, for whatever reason. We didn't choose you. We teach everyone the same techniques, because in Dauntless _nobody_ is special. We are one force, working towards a better future. If there is a weak link, it's not our fault, it's yours for letting yourself give up."

I stared up at him in awe. How could a man be so infuriating, but at the same time so inspiring? He held his hand out and I took it, letting him help me up. "You better not let yourself give up," he told me before leaving. He left something in my hand, and I looked down, gasping.

It was my red velvet ribbon.


	6. Chapter 6

I watched as Alys and a small girl with beady black eyes named Hannah fought in the Arena.

It had been a week since my own fight in the ring, when I was beaten and bruised. The angry purples of my jawline and back had faded to vomit-yellow, and since then- since Eric and I's encounter- I was renewed with the need to be better. My name climbed past three other initiates's in a matter of days. I was determined that I would not be factionless. I was Dauntless, now and forever.

Hannah took a swing and hooked Alys in the left eye, blood spewing from my friend's mouth. _Get up_, I mentally urged her, pursing my lips. Alys glanced around her in a daze and rose slowly, only to be knocked down again. _Get up, get up, _I thought again.

She stood once more, looking glassy-eyed. "Come _on,_" Hannah called to her with a disdainful curve of her lip, "stay down, you crazy bitch!"

I watched as Alys ran at her full force, pulling her down to the ground and shoving her fists into the smaller girl's sides until she was gasping for air. "Yes! Keep her down!" I shouted, smiling wide. I knew she had it in her. Alys was pure brutality when she had to be. I wished I could be so strong, but my best bet with getting through the first round of initiation was to lay low, duck, and cover.

Jer and Tommy came over and watched with me. "She's a monster," said the Candor transfer, in awe of the lithe brunette before him. Jeremy nodded in agreement.

Four called out that the match was over, and Alys was the victor. She held her hands up in triumph and Pia and I both cheered in excitement. "You were great," said Pia, holding Alys's hand tight. "You're getting much better!"

Pia was the only one of us who hadn't yet been in the Arena, her pale skin still unblemished and unbloodied. I envied her, but pitied her as well. She would not be treated with any less force just because of her frailty. Eric taught that lesson to me that night in the hallway.

I reached up to where I'd tied the red velvet ribbon in my hair, remembering, and for a moment I felt his steel-blue eyes on me, the hairs on the back of my neck rising. When I turned, however, I only saw a pair of black combat boots vanishing behind the corner.

"Rosalie?" I looked up at Jeremy, his red-gold hair shimmering in the light. "Come on, we're going to the tattoo parlor. Alys wants something to commemorate her victory." His smile was easy and warm, and I found myself smiling back as I agreed to go, following him down the hall.

"You know, that smile of yours could get you into a lot of trouble," Jer said.

I eyed him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

He chuckled and ran his hand through his tight curls. They bounced back into place quickly, drooping over his eyebrows. "You really don't know, do you?" I was just as confused as ever, and he laughed all the harder for it, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I didn't understand what he meant, but I went along with his laughter, smiling again.

How could a smile get anyone in trouble?

We reached the parlor just after Alys, Pia, and Tommy. Alys was holding a glass plate with a black symbol of a fist on it. "This is the one," she said with a grin. "Come on, Rosie, you have to pick one too!"

She pulled me to the wall where the glass panels hung, but I felt transported. For a moment I was in Amity, with my parents and little sisters. For a moment it was my mother who had called me Rosie, not Alys. "Rosalie! Come on, seriously, pick one out! Hey Jeremy, why don't you help her?"

I snapped back into the present, and gave each image a glance before seeing the one. It was a willow tree, with delicate branches that feathered out from the trunk. There were four roots to ground the tree; my mother, my father, Lillian, and Daisy. I tried to reach for it, even jumped a few times, but could barely grace the bottom of it with my fingertips. Jeremy reached up and grabbed it with ease, handing it over.

"Thanks," I said, looking around for the others. I heard Alys screaming in another room and I turned the corner quickly. The tattoo artist was hunched over her shoulder, holding the tattooing machine in place while she wiggled. "Geez, Alys," I huffed, "I thought you were getting killed!"

She glared up at me and Tommy and Pia fell into laughter. "You'd think she could handle that tiny thing," Tommy said, nodding towards the small tattoo. "I mean, with as many hits as she took in the Arena, this should be nothing."

"Shut it," Alys said as she got up, inspecting the work. It really was small, but the lines were clean and it barely looked irritated. "Your turn," she said to me, pushing me into the chair. I handed the glass plate over to the woman and pursed my lips, wondering where I would put it. My friends all grew uninterested as I took my time deciding on the perfect spot, and when it was just the tattoo artist and I alone, I finally pointed at my thigh. "Here, please," I told her, somewhat hesitant. It was a rather risque place for a tattoo on my body, but it would be out of sight and there was enough skin to get the details right.

She connected the small metal box to my thigh after I'd slid off my pants and away the lasers went. It wasn't that painful- certainly not as painful as Alys led me to believe. When it was done I sat in awe at the beautiful branches and touched a finger to each of the roots, sending thoughts of love to each member of my family.

The tattoo artist left when her shift was over, and as I worked to pull up my pants I felt eyes on me. Looking up, I saw nothing, but as I further inspected the darkness, I could see a figure in the background.

Panic struck me and I rushed to pull my pants up, hurrying to find my friends, to find anyone so that I wasn't alone.

I bumped into someone and hissed in pain as I fell onto my back, still not recovered from my first fight in the Arena. "Watch where you're going, softie," the cold, hard, familiar voice of Eric said to me. I looked up, recognizing the short blonde hair and steel-blue eyes. He had grabbed my arm and pulled me up before I could even reply. He eyed me like I was prey he might eat, then turned and walked away.

I could feel the presence of the figure moving closer to me, so I hurried to keep up with him. "What do you want?" He asked when I reached his side.

"I..." I turned back and looked to where the dark form stood, right by the room I was just tattooed in. Should I tell him, and risk his annoyance at my cowardice, or should I keep quiet? I decide against the ladder. I felt unsafe, and feared for his safety as well. "Eric," I said quietly, tugging on his sleeve. He looks down with a raised brow, and I look over to the figure. It took a while, but he got the hint and looked back too.

"Hey!" he hooted into the hallway. The figure jumped up and was spooked away, and he wiped my hand from his arm. "There, just a lurker. You need to toughen up, Pansy Cake."

I grabbed at his arm again. "Please," I begged, biting my lip. "Will you at least walk me to my room?" I feared that once his strong presence left me, the figure would return again to follow me.

He looked me up and down before relenting. "Hurry up," he said, "I have things to do."

We walked together in silence, my small hands wrapped around his forearm. His arms were thick with muscle and his skin was rough, but supple. I forgot who he was and where we were for a moment, my thumb sweeping across his skin. The hairs on his arm resisted my movement, falling back into place as I ran over them again.

"Cut that out," he snapped at me, and I pulled my hands quickly from his arm, looking at my feet.

When we reached the initiate's room, I looked around and made sure that we were alone. "Thank you," I said. I must have seemed like a child to him, afraid of shadows in the dark and needing him to escort me back to my room. I looked up at him and he was almost smirking at me. I smiled back like I knew what he was grinning about, and suddenly I remembered what Jeremy had told me in the hallway.

I called for him when he was almost gone. "Hey, Eric!" He turned, brows raised. "How can a smile get someone into trouble?" I asked, and he laughed, for the first time in a warm manor, and stalked off into the night shaking his head.

It made me smile all the more.

Hands grabbed me and pulled me inside. "Rosalie! I thought we'd lost you!" It was Alys. "Who walked you out here? Oh never mind that." She brought me in for a warm hug. I could tell she was shaking.

"You guys left me in the tattoo parlor alone," I defended. "Whats going on?"

They all looked up at me like I was joking. "You haven't heard?" Pia asked me. when I shook my head she frowned. "Jordan told us when we got back. Someone found one of the Dauntless-born initiates at the bottom of the Chasm. Dead."

I raised a brow in alarm. "He fell?"

Pia shook her head, lips pursed.

"No, Rosalie. He was _pushed_."


	7. Chapter 7

There was a funeral for the boy, some Lucas Hershel, and within days we were back to our usual training.

I slammed my forearms against the punching bag, remembering the way his mother cried. It wasn't very Dauntless of her, showing her weakness like that, and the boy's father had told her as much, his voice stern and cold. I believed there was a time where anyone could be less than brave, and I felt my heart swell at the sight of a mother seeing her child so hard and lifeless. No parent should outlive their child, or so my own parents had always told me.

But for as much as the death of Lucas affected us, life went on and training stopped for nothing.

I kept on punching away, thrusting my emotion into each swing of my fist. I wanted to be able to defend myself, because I might be next. My mind drifted to the dark shadow in the tattoo parlor, and I knew that whoever was killing the initiates in Dauntless was lurking, watching me, analyzing me. Maybe if I trained hard enough, I would be prepared for any upcoming battle with the shadow man.

"Alright everybody, listen up!" I looked up to where Eric stood on the ledge. He was already staring my way, and instead of his usual malicious smirk, his lips fell into a frown. "There's been another death. In Candor. Another initiate." He waited for the gasps to die down, and I looked to Alys, Pia, and Tommy. They were wide-eyed and nervous. "The council has convened," he said. "From now on, there will be no going anywhere alone. We've taken the liberty of setting up groups of two to ensure safety."

I turned and watched as the pairings were listed off the back of a piece of paper. Alys with Jordan, Pia with Tommy, Jeremy with Evan Mathews, so on and so forth, until I was the last one left. "You," Eric said, "are with me."

Everyone mumbled amongst themselves, going back to their training. I went on with mine too, Evan Mathews coming up behind me. "Funny how they have you paired up with him," he said. "Maybe they're scared the Pansy will get killed off next."

"Maybe they are," I replied. I'd grown numb to his nit-picks and jokes.

"Or maybe they're trying to keep you safe. You hiding any skeletons in the closet?" When I didn't answer he grabbed my arm. "Hey, I'm talking to you, softie!"

A fist came out of nowhere, knocking him to the ground. "Hands off til you get in the Arena," Eric told him. There was an entire unspoken conversation between them that I had no business with seeing. "Get out of here," Eric said.

"You didn't have to do that," I said, "I could have handled it." How could he tell me I was weak almost every day, but then come and rescue me like some damsel in distress?

"Yeah, you were doing a good job of _handling_ it," he scoffed.

"I _would_ have done a good job if you would just give me the chance," I retorted, shaking my head incredulously. "How can I possibly do _anything_ if you're right there, breathing down my neck?"

He stared at me, hard. We were so close that his boots were nearly touching mine. I could feel his breath on my skin, the heat that radiated off of him penetrated me and I could see the specks of silver in his steel-blue eyes, every small scar that blemished his skin. I could even see the fine blonde stubble on his jawline. "Get back to work," he told me in a low, rumbling growl. And then he was gone.

I could feel his warmth embodying me even hours after he'd gone.

When we were finally excused from training, the partners all teamed up and headed out, but I had to wait for Eric to finish cleaning up the room. He picked up all the towels covered in sweat or blood from the day's fights, returned the mats that had shifted to their designated spots and wiped down the punching bags and dummies. He wasn't so terrifying when he was immersed in work. His brows weren't raised in constant speculation, his eyes weren't so cold, his smirk was replaced with a firm, determined line.

He clapped his hands clean of dust and looked to me. "Ready to go?" Even his voice changed when he didn't need to keep up the facade of a tough guy.

We walked to the dining hall together, my hands around his forearms like they were when he'd walked me back to my room after the encounter with the shadow man. This time, he didn't seem to mind.

"So," he said, "why'd you choose Dauntless?"

I looked up, brows raised. It was a strange question, but if we were to be with each other so often, maybe it would be good to at least get to know one another. "I don't know," I told him honestly.

"Well what did your test say?"

I shrugged. "Amity," I said.

He paused, eyeing me. We stood alone in the hallway, face to face, his eyes intent on mine. My breath hitched. "Born a softie and a softie at heart. Why would you ever come to Dauntless?"

"I heard you were a transfer too," I said, changing the topic. "Why did you come to Dauntless?"

He waited a moment before replying, thinking hard on his answer. "It was my calling," he settled on saying.

When we reached the dining hall, Jeremy immediately stood up and came to my side, wrapping an arm around me. "There you are! You took so long we thought you'd been kidnapped."

"That's not funny," I said. "What if I'd really been kidnapped, Jer?"

Eric's arm flexed. I'd almost forgotten he was there, my hands wrapped tight around his forearm. "That won't happen," he said, pulling his arm away and heading to where the trainers and other leaders sat.

"What was that all about?" Jeremy asked, laughing and guiding me to where our friends sat, eating their burgers.

I shrugged, looking back to where Eric sat down. He didn't spare a glance my way. "I don't know," I said, "I really don't know."

* * *

><p><strong>Hello everyone. Shorter chapter this time around, and I apologize for that, but I wanted to address something that I believe is very important.<strong>

**Before I began writing this story, I'd had very little to do with the Divergent fandom, and it was only after I'd posted my story and had multiple chapters written that I realized nearly every other story is Eric and an OC from Amity that wants to prove herself. Needless to say, I was completely disappointed in myself for not looking into the popularity of such a fiction first, so I've decided to take this story in a completely different direction. **

**I have the plotline laid out and I can comfortably say it will not be like every other story out there. There will be romance and lemons and all of that sort, but this is not (or at least, no longer) a story based on their relationship or on just my OC. There will be a greater scheme to all of this, and in time, you will see what I mean. I have a plan for this fiction, and I hope it is unique enough to keep your attention.**

**Thank you for letting me share my PSA. I hope you've all been enjoying the story so far, and thank you for taking the time to read it.**


	8. Chapter 8

The next two weeks were strenuous. People argued, even fought back against the partner system, but the leaders were so adamant that they said the next ones to question the system were out. I watched the chaos unravel, mystified at how one simple rule could change the inner workings of an entire faction.

The initiates were fraying at the seams, and the unchanging practice of day-in day-out training on plastic dummies, and each other, was making them antsy.

The leaders must have picked up on the negative aura, and when we walked into the training room the next day everything was different.

Eric stood before a table with Four, its contents being what looked like thousands of knives. The punching bags and dummies were removed, and the side wall was now adorned with human-shaped inlays, glowing with blue backlights.

"Today," Eric said, "we will be throwing knives. You must be trained not only in face to face combat but in combat at a distance." Some of the initiates high-fived and hooted happily, others were uneasy.

I walked up and grabbed the first set of slim, silver knives I saw.

We all stood in a line, Eric and Four watching us from beside the table. The knives felt sleek and cool in my hand, and I threw them with ease. This was much better than combat fighting. I hit the target almost every time. Beside me, Pia was far less fortunate. "How are you so good at this?" she asked me quietly as she threw another knife. It hit the corner of the board- it was the first that even graced it.

I shrugged. I didn't know why this came so naturally to me. It was a mystery, but I was glad for it. I would get my name higher in the ranks by being good at this. I wasn't last on the list anymore, but I was still drowning.

We threw until sundown, and afterwards we were all exhausted. My arms fell to my sides like they weighed a thousand pounds.

"Come on, Rosalie, we're all going to the tattoo parlor," Jeremy said to me as I dumped my knives onto the table. "Pia's getting one this time."

"Pia?" I laughed. Sweet little Pia with a tattoo? It was inconceivable. "I'll ask Eric."

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Come _on_, Rosie, let's just ditch him. He's such a stiff."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I can't just leave him here, he's my partner. We're not supposed to go anywhere alone."

He wrapped his arm around me, and I, for the first time, felt uncomfortable under his touch. "He's so boring, Rosie. Besides, you'll be with all of us. I'm not bringing my partner. He gives me the creeps. Maybe _we_ can be partners. What do you say?"

I slipped from under his arm and shook my head. "Why don't you go on ahead, Jer."

My friend looked almost angry as he stalked away, and Eric came up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He giving you trouble?" He asked as Jeremy left with the others. Eric's hand was hot on my bare skin, where my tank top strap had fallen.

I shook my head, pulling the strap back up. "He's just too forward sometimes," I replied as I went to the table to wipe the knives clean. I'd taken up helping him pick up the training room after each session, so the work would get done faster and we could be on our way. It was all simple work, and more often than not my mind drifted.

In my absentmindedness, I accidentally dropped one of the knives and it sliced my pointer finger open. "_Ow!_" I hissed.

Eric was at my side in an instant, holding my hand in his, inspecting the open wound. "It's a clean cut, not deep," he said, "go wash that out and tape it up."

Whereas once he might have shouted the orders like I was a puppy that wouldn't listen, he now spoke softer, sweeter. I was getting closer to cracking his exterior each moment we were alone together, closer to seeing the true Eric, not the hard shell he paraded around in.

I did as he told me and wrapped my finger in gauze. "I heard you were an Erudite transfer," I said as I went back to wiping the knives down.

"I was," he replied. His eyes traveled up to me slowly, and when he saw me back at work on the blades he made his way to me. "Why don't you take over the sweeping. I'll clean the knives."

Tossing me the broom, I picked up his work as he did mine. "Why'd you come to Dauntless from Erudite? You're smart enough, I bet you would have done well there. I know you said it was your '_calling'_ to be here, but what does that even _mean_?"

He raised a brow at my growing boldness with him. "It means it's my business, not yours. Remember your place." I frowned at the cold that crept back into his voice, and when I looked away he must have noticed, because he spoke again, this time in a kinder tone. "You know, you seem less and less Amity every day. Are you sure they told you the right faction?"

"Positive," I said, chuckling. The frown on my lips was replaced with a smile. When Eric noticed he smiled too. It was the first time I'd seen him smile, and it was quite the sight. His face was warm and welcoming and his eyes went soft as butter. He had a beautiful smile, really. "How do you do that?" I asked.

"Do what?" He raised a brow at me, tilting his head.

I laughed, leaning on the broomstick. "Smile like that. Like you're not some cruel, scary guy."

He inched towards me, towering over my small frame. "Is that what you really think? That I'm some cruel, scary guy?" His breath was warm on my skin, and I felt my heart beat faster.

My lower lip quivered and I stayed as still as possible. How could I have moved with him right in front of me? His presence turned my feet to concrete.

His hand came up and touched my loose curls, his fingers twirling amongst the creamy ringlets. This close proximity was intense and _crazy_, and my head was spinning. "Well then," Eric said, almost breathlessly, "I'll just have to prove you wrong."

There was a terrible crash across from us and we turned, Eric pushing me behind him. The storage boxes in the back room had toppled over.

Neither one of us could see anything for a long time, before a shaded figure scampered across the room and exited through an adjacent hallway. It was only a glimpse of the culprit, but it was _so_ reminiscent of the dark figure in the tattoo parlor. I clutched Eric's arm in fear.

"Stay here," Eric ordered me in his hard voice before he took off running after the shadow man.

I listened for his heavy footsteps until they disappeared, and backed myself into a wall, eyeing each corner of the room carefully until his return. What was that guy doing lurking around the training room, watching Eric and I? The whole situation left me feeling unsettled.

I looked up abruptly when I heard heavy footsteps again. It was the shaded stranger making a break for it. I felt myself clam up in fear and scoot into a corner, feeling comforted by the presence of the hard rock surrounding me. "_Eric_," I called, panicked, into the darkness, praying that he hadn't been overtaken.

It was the first and last time I would question his strength.

When he came back into the training room he looked disheveled but alert, and as he came closer I noticed his red, swollen knuckles and speckles of blood on his arm and dark gray tank top. "You're bleeding," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. I took his hand to inspect it as he did with mine only a few hours before, when I'd dropped the knife and cut myself. There were no abrasions or cuts.

"It's not my blood," he said when he noticed my confusion, and began shaking his fingers out. "I don't think you'll be seeing whoever that was any time soon." I looked up at him, pursing my lips. Somehow, I wasn't convinced, my eyes lingering to the door that the figured scampered away through. "Come on," he told me as he began to leave, "I'll walk you to the initiate's room."

Everyone was asleep when we got there, and I turned to him before he could go. "Thank you," I whispered in the darkness.

"For what?" he asked, raising a brow. The silver of his piercings glinted like stars against the blackness.

"For scaring off that guy," I said with a light laugh, though it wasn't really funny to me at all. In truth, the shadowed figure frightened me almost as much as being kicked out of dauntless. I sighed, thinking of how low my name still was on the ranks. The first round of initiation was almost over, and I was barely gracing the surface.

It was silent for a while before Eric decided to go, and I watched him walk away, but it wasn't long before he turned back to me. "Hey, softie," he called out. "Are you sure you scored Amity?" I didn't know what to say in return, and before I could formulate a proper sentence he had already laughed it off, shook his head, and disappeared into the night, like it was a ridiculous question.

That night as I laid in bed, I toyed with the red velvet ribbon between my fingers. I wanted to believe that I was safe here in Dauntless, especially with Eric watching over so intense and all my new friends to comfort me, but with a lurking stranger following me everywhere I went and another round of initiation to go, I felt as vulnerable as if I were a lone piece of wheat swaying in a hurricane, capable of ripping me from the ground at any moment.

My hand reached down to my thigh and I touched where the roots of the willow tree were and sighed.

I prayed I wouldn't be uprooted.


	9. Chapter 9

I attacked the punching bag with vigor, sweat dripping down my neck and over my brow. I was only a name away from being above the red line, and I knew that the end of the first round of initiation was near. If I could just reach over that one name, I knew I would make it.

My whole soul went into every kick, every punch. I was focused as I'd never been before, the noise of the room drowned out by my perseverance. I could only hear the drumming of my fists and feet on the heavy, worn bag. The only thing to drag me out of my focus was the booming sound of Eric's voice and a fist grabbing my shirt and pulling me around to face where he stood in the center of the Arena.

I looked up at the owner of the yanking fist and met the bright eyes of Jeremy, who motioned to the Dauntless Leader.

"Now that I've got your attention," Eric said, "we can begin. Tonight, you will be practicing the skills that we've taught you over the past few months." Four tossed him what looked like a gun and I stared wide-eyed as he cocked it and aimed at us. "We're going to play a little game of capture the flag. These bad boys," he eyed the gun with that malicious smirk of his, "shoot neurostim darts that simulate the pain of a real gunshot."

One of the initiates huffed and began to laugh, and Eric, without warning, pointed the gun at him and shot. Within seconds the boy was on the floor, choking and holding onto his shoulder desperately. "Don't worry," Eric said, "the pain goes away after a few minutes. Now, if you're all done questioning your leader, Four and I will pick our teams. Four, you get first pick." He held his arm out, and the trainer stepped forward.

His eyes were an intense blue, scanning over us like a wave searching for the best place to crash. "Jeremy," he said, and I watched as my redhead friend smiled with ease and joined his team leader. Then Eric stepped forward.

"I'll take the softie," he said, eyes hard on me.

Everyone turned to me with scrutinizing stares, and Four laughed bawdily. "You've _got_ to be joking." Eric raised a brow and the trainer stepped down, but still snickered to himself.

I slowly made my way to his side and he flashed a peculiar grin, making me turn as red as a rose. Four chose Evan Matthews, the First Jumper, and other strong looking initiates. Eric picked Alys, who was the best shot out of the girls, Hannah, the beady eyed monster of a woman, Tommy, and others that I didn't recall the names of. Nobody picked Pia, and she was stuck with Four's team, making their numbers outweigh ours.

When everyone was picked, we went to the trains.

It had been a long time since I'd been outside of Dauntless, and I breathed in the fresh air with vigor. It was so sweet and relaxing, the breeze that blew by was so refreshing. "Come on," Alys said, already ten feet in front of me, "if you keep standing there you'll miss the train!"

I ran to catch up and after only a minute or two the train rounded the corner and we all prepared ourselves. The first to jump on slammed their hands onto the sensors and then we all followed like water in reverse, spilling into the train. Alys and I both caught onto the rails at the same time, but my feet slipped and I gasped as I worked to hold myself up by the outer rail.

Alys tried to grab me but another hand reached out first and I was pulled onto the train by my forearm. When I looked up I saw Evan Matthews looking down at my with those venomous silver-blue. "Careful," he said before walking off. His presence made me shiver, and he looked beaten and bruised, but he hadn't have a fight in weeks.

"Weirdo," Alys mumbled under her breath as he walked away. "Can you believe that _he's_ Jeanine Matthew's nephew? She's the head of Erudite and he's such a freak. Jer told me that once when they were walking to the dining hall together he totally interviewed him about you. I mean, if that's how he tries to get girls, I'm not surprised he's alone."

I raised a brow. "He asked about me? Jeremy never told me that."

Alys crossed her arms. "That's funny. You'd think that your boyfriend would tell you everything."

"_Boyfriend_?" I said with confusion slathering my voice.

She snorted and shook her head. "Sometimes you're clueless, Rosie. I mean, _everyone_ thinks you're with him. You're half of all he talks about."

There was a clearing of a throat and we both looked up to see Eric eyeing us with his hard steel blue eyes. "Everybody get ready to jump," he called out loud. When I looked out the opening of the train car, I was left confused. I had thought we were going to another training arena, but when we jumped out of the train we were emerged into the dark night and shadows of the tall, abandoned buildings on the outskirts of the city.

Four's team stayed on the train and jumped off at an undisclosed location, and our team looked around in wonder. "Look," Alys said, "there's a ferris wheel!"

I looked up and gasped. It was larger than anything I'd ever seen before, other than the towering buildings, and round like a cake with rods interlacing the inside of the circle. There were seats all around it. I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined the dim yellow-tinted twinkle lights casting into the seats as they ascended to the moon.

"Enough looking around," came Eric's voice, serious and strong. "Anyone got any ideas on how to reach the other team's flag?" As we thought he passed out our guns to us. I'd held a gun before, I had to when we practiced shooting, but to know that I could, and probably would, cause pain with this one made me nervous. "Well?" Eric asked impatiently.

I looked around and then back up at the ferris wheel, and it was like a light-bulb burst in my mind. "Eric, we have to go up the ferris wheel," I said quickly. "We could see their flag better if we were up higher, and then we could figure out how to get it. But first we have to know where we're going."

"Are you stupid, Amity?" Hannah scoffed and rolled her eyes. "One of those others sees you on the top of the ferris wheel and we're toast. They'll be here before you could get half way down to warn us."

"We can hide in the buildings," Alys offered, looking up at the sky-high towers. "If they come to get us, they'll never guess we're up in the windows. They'll look around the ground."

Eric nodded his head along with our discussion, steel-blue eyes glinting like silver orbs that never left me.

Tommy came around and pulled me under his arm. "I'll climb the ferris wheel with you, Rosie."

"Good."

We all looked up at Eric, whose head tilted to the side casually. "Go with the softie, someone has to. The rest of us, up in the building. Not too high up. When they spin the seat on the top of the ferris wheel, we'll meet up at the base. Keep yours guns at the ready."

Everyone dispersed and when it was just Tommy and I alone, I strapped my gun across my back and we headed towards the ferris wheel. Wind picked up and I was thankful for the thickness of the dauntless bodysuits as I grabbed hold of the siderails of the ladder and began climbing.

"Hey, Rosalie," Tommy said from behind me as we climbed. "I've been meaning to talk to you. About Pia. I think she's interested in Jordan."

"Jordan?" I raised a brow and kept climbing. "The dauntless-born? She's not interested in him."

Tommy grunted and I could tell he was rolling his eyes. "You seem so sure, but how could you know, you barely hang out with us anymore. You're always cleaning the training room with Eric. Pia's all over Jordan."

I stopped and looked down to eye Tommy. "If you think I'm never around, why talk to me about her? That's kind of stupid, Tom." He was silent as I continued up.

"Sorry, Rosie," he finally said, "I just don't have anyone else to talk to about it. Jeremy thinks Pia's not worth it, and Alys just keeps telling me how '_hot_' Jordan is, and how lucky Pia would be if he noticed her."

"Just talk to her, Tommy. You're her partner in Dauntless, you get plenty of alone time with her walking up and down the halls. Tell her you like her-"

I reached for another step and it crumbled under my touch. I squealed in surprise as I lost my grip and watched as the bar flew away like dust in the wind, my whole body slipping from the side of the ladder. "_Tommy_!" I tried to grab at the other bar but my reach was too short and I felt my grip on the last bar slipping. I was at least a hundred feet in the air, one slip and I would fall to my death. _I've made it so far_, I thought desperately, _I can't die falling off of a ferris wheel_!

I didn't even register that I was being ripped from the side of the ladder until I was lying belly-down along the bars.

Tommy was panting frantically, and I was positive that everyone in the watch-building had seen. If I hadn't been so happy to be alive, I would have been embarrassed that everyone had seen that I couldn't help myself back up the ladder.

"Come on," I breathed heavily, "if we keep going we'll make it to the top in no time."

I pushed my fear of falling off again aside as we climbed the rest of the ferris wheel, and when we reached the top we slid behind the tall bars so the other team couldn't spot us as we looked for the flag.

"There!" Tommy said, pointing to a tower with a bright neon green flag swaying inside of it.

We worked to spin the ferris wheel's seat and when it rotated sufficiently- with a noise like nails on a chalk board that we were sure the other team heard- we quickly hurried to the base of the ferris wheel, sliding down the sides of the ladder in our haste.

"The flag's at the top of that building over there," Tommy said as we reached the rest of our group. "They'll be coming for us soon, if they aren't already on their way, so we have to move fast."

"We'll have to split up into two teams. One to tackle the ground support and another to infiltrate the building. There will be at least a few others inside, so at least three in the group."

"Just two," Eric said, "we can't spare any more than that. They'll try to take us out on the ground, so we have to be stealthy. Softie, you and me will go inside the building. I have the most experience and you're the smallest."

Everyone nodded in agreement and we broke apart, running towards our target.

"Are you going to tell me what happened up on that ferris wheel?" Eric asked in a low voice as he tugged on my suit and pulled me closer to him.

I sighed. "The bar broke off when I tried to grab it. Tommy helped me up."

"Do you know how fucking stupid you are? You didn't even check the bars before you climbed up. That ferris wheel is a hundred years old, and you thought it would just hold up?" His tone of voice was off-putting and I scrunched my nose.

"Why do you care if I dangle off of a ferris wheel? You dropped me off of a _bridge_, Eric, you almost let me fall to my _death_," I accused and he grabbed my wrist roughly, narrowing his eyes.

It was like time stilled every time he touched me, and I looked up at him slowly. "You're such an idiot. I would never let you fall," he said, and with that he dragged me in for a rough, bruising kiss that turned me to liquid all the while making me light up like an open flame. My mouth would be purple and blue the next day, I knew, and my bottom lip split. I could taste my blood on his mouth.

When we heard gunshots we broke apart and I gasped for air, though he looked unphased and ran forward on, calling for me to follow.

We dodged bullet after bullet until I was grabbed by the arm by none other than Four himself, who shot the neurostim dart into my neck before he ran off into the night. It was just as Eric said, it felt like a true bullet wound, and I screamed aloud, falling to the ground and trying to rip the dart from my skin. It was the most excruciating, awful feeling I'd ever experienced, it felt like very nerve in my body was blown out from over stimulation- I could barely move.

Eric came to me in an instant, shooting the First Jumper's left shoulder, right above his heart. He shook his head angrily and slapped at the spot where I'd been shot. "It will move the serum quicker," he explained, and we waited a minute or two for the pain to settle before he pulled me up from the ground and ran with me to the building. Only seconds before I was keeled over on the ground, unable to even blink, and now I was sprinting. It was like a dream.

And we still had a job to do.

Eric shot an initiate and took their gun, shoving it in my arms before we ran up three flights of stairs. He kicked the door down like a knife slices through butter. It was amazing how effortless he made everything look.

I looked around and noticed we were alone but for Jeremy standing in front of the flag. "I didn't want to have to shoot you, Rosie," he said with a frown as he pointed his gun at me, but Eric kicked him to the ground and my chest tightened. Could I shoot my friend? I stared at his face squished between the floor and Eric's knee, his gun kicked to the other side of the room. Could I bring upon Jer the same pain that Four had brought upon me?

I raised my hands shakily, knowing I had no other option, and aimed for Jeremy's side, where his ribcage was, and fired.

He screamed a blood-curling scream that was something from a nightmare, but I'd done it, I'd shot the only guard of the flag and now it was ours for the taking. I looked up at Eric and he nodded for me to take it.

I was so pumped with adrenaline that all I could do was rip the flag from its post and wave it out the window, showing it off with vigor. My whole team cheered for me, calling my name, hooting, and I finally found it in me not to feel guilty for taking the victory. I helped Jeremy up and when I looked over my shoulder I could see Eric's approval shining in his eyes. I grinned.

We'd won, and I was the one holding the flag.


	10. Chapter 10

I watched the sunrise on the rooftop, feeling more relaxed than I'd ever felt as the sky faded from blue to purple to pink, and now, as the sun rose higher, rays of light were cast along the city streets, turning them to rivers of liquid gold. It was so serene up here, with the fresh air tickling every bare inch of my skin and the breeze sinking through my thin black top. If I closed my eyes I could almost envision the miles of pale wheat swaying before me.

"Rosie?"

I turned and saw Alys climbing up the shaft to the roof. Her short brown hair had grown out almost to her shoulders now, and looked disheveled from sleep, her grey eyes tired. "They're posting the results on the board in the Pit," she said, "I just wanted to let you know, since Pia and I were about to head down."

I smiled, glad that they still wanted me around. Tommy was right when he'd said I neglected them, I realized that as I sat on the rooftop and enjoyed the morning to myself. "I'll be right down."

Alys left and I followed her down, making my way to my bed. Rummaging through my trunk, I picked up a sleek black button down and a pair of tight black pants and began buttoning the shirt over my chest. I didn't worry about everyone seeing my body anymore, nobody did.

"Everybody listen up!" Eric's voice boomed. We all looked up, and he caught my eye immediately, his gaze lingering to where my willow tree tattoo branched over the expanse of my thigh. I held my bunched up pants over it and he smirked that damn smirk of his. When he looked back up at my face it wasn't my eyes he sought after, but my sore, bruised lips, broken on the bottom and red. "Your scores will be posted in the Pit. If you've made it onto round two of initiation, congratulations. But don't think that just because you passed this time that you'll pass next time. Once you've seen your scores, meet me by the train. We're taking a little field trip."

When he left I could still feel his eyes on me. But I realized that they weren't Eric's eyes I felt when I looked up to see Jeremy eyeing me from across the room. The gaze was quizzical and calculating, and I was more uncomfortable than I'd been in a long time. He looked like he might have come up to me, but I dressed and left with Pia and Alys before he had the chance.

"I saw you with Eric last night," Alys said with a wiggle of her brows. "Care to share what that was all about?"

I froze and looked up at her. "What did you see?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I didn't see much other than talking, but we all know that's not all that happened. Come on, Rosie, there's no way Jer could ever do _that_ to your lips." She and Pia shared a snicker and I looked away, touching where my bottom lip had split open. "Don't be so embarrassed, Rosie, he's kind of hot. In the sort of he-could-rip-you-to-shreds-if-he-wanted-to kind of way. Walking on the dangerous side of things suits you."

A flush crept up from my chest and resonated in my cheeks. By the time we made it to the Pit I was sure I looked like a beet.

There was a buzz about the room and I hesitantly brought my eyes up to the board.

The first name was Spencer Jones, the first jumper. Then it was Jeremy, then Evan Matthews, Tommy, and Alys. I gulped. Still no Rosalie. After Alys was Jordan and Hannah and then there was Pia. My eyes darted away, because I didn't want to know if I hadn't made it, if I would be factionless- but I had to know just as much as I didn't want to, and there was a force pulling my face towards the board once more.

It was then that I saw it. My name lit up in golden light.

_Rosalie Thomas_.

A yip of excitement tore through my throat and I jumped up and hugged Alys and Pia. Jeremy came over and grabbed me, spinning me in the air happily, and then Tommy ran to us and picked Pia up the same way, planting a long, wet kiss on her lips.

We all laughed and Pia wrapped her arms around his neck, calling him an idiot for waiting so long. Before we realized it, the other initiates that passed onto round two had already left for the little "field trip" we would be going on that day. "Come on," Jer said, "let's get going to the train."

As we went to the train there was an air of unspoken pride that connected us all. We had all beat the odds and opponents, and came out on top, as second-level initiates- humbled and yet boasting our success. If we could just past round two of initiation, we were Dauntless for life- a particularly exhilarating idea for me, an Amity born who scored for Amity and still wore the red velvet Amity ribbon in my hair.

When we made it to the train I admired it with a new-found disbelief. I couldn't believe I'd gone from the little girl who used to gasp in awe at the zipping trains as they went by to one of those who jumped inside them.

"Today we're taking it easy," Eric said as the last of us rounded towards the train car. "No fighting, no running around with guns. We're going down to help the Amity load and unload their trucks."

Hannah snorted. "Pansycake must be so excited to see her dirty little faction."

"Shut your mouth," Alys said, crossing her arms. "If you want to snort like that go do it in the pig pen."

Laughter erupted between everyone, but I could only concentrate on the penetrating stare of the beady eyed girl across from me, my eyes downcast.

"Have you all had enough? Because I have," Eric said in a bored tone before slapping the train's sensor. The door opened and he jumped in, everyone else following suit.

I watched the world whiz by as we took off, wondering if my parents would be there with the trucks, waiting. I wondered if Lillian and Daisy would be there to give me hugs and kisses like they used to. Would they even recognize me? I wore dark kohl liner now, and lipstick. My long hair was even longer, and I was stronger now, where I had once been as thin and willowy as a tree branch. I no longer wore flowing skirts, but sturdy black pants and combat boots. I wondered, if I looked in a mirror would_ I_ recognize myself?

We were off the train as quickly as we'd gotten on it, and Eric assigned everyone jobs to do. I, because of my familiarity with Amity, was to stay with him and refrain from interaction with those I might know from my faction. He told me I was not allowed to socialize with any past affiliates. As far as he was concerned, I was Dauntless from the moment my blood spilled over the burning coals and Amity should be erased from my mind.

But it was so hard when I saw so many familiar faces. A hand grabbed mine and I turned, wishing, wanting it to be my father, but it was just Eric, telling me I was taking too long gawking.

We inspected the grain bags and supervised the loading of the trucks. Eric looked down at me as I helped one of the younger Amity reach his father, who was telling Jeremy which bags to toss in the bed of the truck. "You're still a softie at heart," he observed. "No matter how tough you get. You won't ever be fully Dauntless."

I looked up at him and shrugged. "I wasn't supposed to be Dauntless in the first place."

"Eric!"

We both swung around to see a tall man in dark clothing- a former Dauntless leader- waving for him. "Who's that?" I asked, but he was gone before I even finished my sentence- and as soon as he was gone I was pulled by the arm into the covered building where the grain storage was. I started to protest, but when I looked up I felt like crying instead.

Those green eyes... my green eyes... were staring down at me with wonder. "Rosie," my father whispered, almost in disbelief.

"_Dad!_" I jumped up and wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight. He smelled of sunshine and wheat and home. I breathed it in. "Daddy, I missed you."

He held me tighter and I could feel his tears seeping through my button up shirt. "Oh honey you're _so_ beautiful. And look at you, so_ strong_! I was so scared that you wouldn't make it." He looked the same, smiled the same, but there was a hint of panic in his eyes that was foreign, that I couldn't deny.

"Dad, are you okay? Where's mom and the girls?"

He sighed. "They're fine, Rosie... but I needed to talk to you. Rosalie, what were your test results?"

I raised a brow and cocked my head. "I told you. Amity. Why?"

He looked around, making sure we were hidden. When his eyes found me again, they were even more alert. "We don't have much time, Rosalie. I need you to be honest. Erudite is planning something. Something big. I need you to tell me the truth about your scores, honey." None of this was making sense... what was going on?

"I'm not lying, dad, I scored Amity," I said, frowning. "What is going on? What is Erudite planning?"

"I can't tell you here. Meet me under the ferris wheel tomorrow night." He looked up over the bags and ducked. "Someone's coming, I have to go. Meet me there, Rosie. Twelve O'clock."

And with that, my father was gone and I was standing alone and confused between bags of grain and barley. "Rosalie?" I turned and saw an equally confused Eric. "What are you doing over here? Who were you talking to?"

I shook my head. "No one. Just..." I pulled up my saddest frown and looked at the ground, hoping my eyes wouldn't give me away. "Just missing my old home is all," I told him. I eyed him up from my lashes. He hadn't bought a thing.

"I don't believe you," he said, narrowing his eyes. "What's going on?"

When he began snooping I panicked and spun him around towards me and kissed him. Relief flooded through me when I saw my father's silhouette sneaking away out of the corner of my eye.

He wrapped his arms around me tight and pushed into the kiss until we were both breathless and gasping for air. "If you wanted to kiss me, you should have just kissed me," he said, the suspicion in his voice replaced with a purr of satisfaction.

I flushed at the feel of his breath on my skin and nodded, and by the time we were out of the cover of the building we were ready to go back to the compound.

The entire time we were on the train riding back to Dauntless all I could see was the look of worry that etched across my father's face and burned in his eyes. What could possibly be going on in Erudite that would affect me? And why did my test score matter? I looked back at all of my friends laughing and sharing a good time, wishing to feel so carefree, but all I could feel was a pit of concern being planted in my belly that would grow and grow until I met my father under the ferris wheel.

Something was going on, something bad, and I needed to find out what it was.


	11. Chapter 11

The whole morning I was distracted. In every voice I heard my father, in every touch I felt his warm, familiar arms around me. Even as Four ran through the tasks that we would endure in the second round of initiation, I was drifting into a far away place, where I was sitting at the table with my family, eating bread and soup.

"_Last Jumper_!"

I snapped my head up and met the blue eyes of our instructor. "Repeat to me what I just said," he ordered, arms crossed in irritation.

I pursed my lips. "We're... uh... we're..."

He scoffed and shook his head. "That's what I thought. Get it together, kid. I won't repeat myself."

I nodded and sat upright, folding my hands together, though my mind was no closer to his speech than it had been before. I couldn't shake the feeling that something troubling was brewing in Erudite. From my father's franticness, I knew it wouldn't be a positive change. It puzzled me, the fact that he thought I might be effected. I was Amity born and a Dauntless transfer, two factions that had no quarrel with Erudite. In fact, Amity and Erudite were very close.

I looked over to Evan Matthews, who was already staring at me. Quickly, I averted my eyes. I wondered, did he know what was going on in Erudite?

"Alright," Four said loudly, "we're going to have a trial run. I'll be there to administer the serum. Who's first?" He looked around the lot of us and when his eyes settled on me I felt a terrible dread building up in my belly. "How about you, Last Jumper? Unless you've got something more important to do than pass initiation."

I stood up and stared begrudgingly at the stark white door that was reminiscent of those they used for meat lockers. Four opened the door for me and when I entered I was shocked at how similar it was to the room where I took my aptitude test, only smaller and surrounded by pale white walls, not a mirror in sight. "Sit," he commanded, and so I sat.

He entered some codes on a computer and then loaded a glass container of a strange liquid into a gun with a long needle. "You're... going to give me a_ shot_? What is that?"

"You would know if you'd listened to me when I was explaining it all," he said. "Ready?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry I was distracted, but you can't just shoot me up with a serum and not tell me what I'll be doing," I pleaded. "Please?"

He eyed me for a moment before lowering the arm with the gun. "You'll be in the fear landscape. You'll have to face your deepest fears. I'll be viewing them on the monitor."

"Fears?" I didn't even know _what_ I feared. I shrunk in the chair, curling my legs into myself and wrapping my arms around them. "How long will I be in there?" I asked, worried.

He shrugged. "I'll let you know how long you were out once you're done." And with that he stuck the needle in my neck and the room disappeared around me, and I felt that I was deprived of all of my senses for a moment.

When my eyes opened I was on top of the ferris wheel, sitting in the highest seat.

The lights were on and twinkled like little stars down each beam and around the circumference. It was playing a faint melody and I smiled, feeling on top of the world. The moon was out and shining over me. How could I fear something so awe-inspiring? I looked down, leaning over the seat, and then suddenly it flipped upside down. The twinkle lights all flickered and the bulbs burst, and the pristine, freshly-painted white seat began to rust under my fingertips. It was painful, holding on for dear life with one hand. When I started to slip I screamed.

I looked down below, frantic. _This is how I'm going to die_, I thought, too pumped with adrenaline to cry. And then it hit me. Why would I die? This was a simulation. I was in a dream.

So I let go.

The feeling of falling wrapped me in a cool embrace as I dropped, and for a moment I felt like I was flying.

And then that moment was gone, and I fell right into the cold, dark ocean.

I tried to open my eyes, but the water made them burn so I closed them again. I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe or hear or feel anything but the numbing touch of the surrounding water. I tried to swim to the surface, but no matter how far I tried to swim up I could never reach it. I couldn't even see it. It was a blank nothingness that covered me, and panic swelled into my heart.

And then, I remembered. This wasn't_ real_.

I opened my eyes and the darkness was gone. I was in my room, not the initiate's room ,but that of my home, dry and dressed like I was in Amity again. My mom came in and placed soup on my bedside table and kissed my forehead. I _was_ home.

I sighed. Dauntless had been a vicious dream to me. I was home. "You'll be late for the trucks, Rosie Bell, you better hurry along," she said. Lillian and Daisy ran in and hugged me. They wore the light pink dresses I'd sewn for their birthday.

"Can we go, Rosie? _Please_!"

I laughed and looked to my mom for help. She pried Lilly off and Daisy sat on my lap. "I'll be back really soon, Daisy, I promise," I said happily, kissing her cheeks until she wiggled her way out of my arms and ran off with Lillian. "I'll be home by dinner," I told my mom, kissing her cheek and headed out.

I waved once I got onto the trucks. My dad grinned and waved back, and I sighed happily.

And then people in black suits came out of our house and kicked my family to their knees. "Wait!" I screamed. What was going on? I tried to get off the truck but I was stuck. "Mom! _Mom_!"

She was crying, holding my little sisters. My dad stood up again and tried to reason with them and then_- bang_.

I couldn't even describe the complete and utter disconnect and horror I felt as I watched my father's lifeless body fall to the dirt._ Bang_, _bang_, _bang_. I screamed so loud my throat when raw and then everything was black.

When I opened my eyes I was back in the room with Four, screaming and sobbing. He immediately became alert and was at my side in an instant. "Calm down," he said, "you're back, you're _here_, it was just a simulation."

I shook my head and sobbed more, falling off the chair when I tried to shy from his touch. "Calm down!" he tried to order me, but I would never forget the blood splattering over our garden, the look of desperation in my family's eyes as they called out for me to help. I'd watched my family die, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Four called for Eric, who came in with an irritated expression that quickly turned confused. "The _fuck_ did you do to her?" he shouted, coming and standing by me.

"The sim," Four said, "she's not ready. Take her out and calm her down."

Eric shook his head and lifted me up in his arms. Though he looked visibly annoyed at Four, his touch was gentle on my skin. I was still sobbing as he walked me out of the room. I felt the eyes of everyone around me, staring, questioning,_ judging._

He didn't take me to the initiate's room like I expected, and instead we ended up in a large, open room with a kitchen and bathroom, like a small house. There was a bed in the center of the largest room, disheveled with pillows and a sheet strewn across it.

He sat me on the large mattress and sat on the floor in front of me. "Hey," he said, "you're okay, you don't need to cry. What happened in the fear landscape, Rosalie? What was it?" His hand had found its way to my cheek, cradling the side of my face.

I shook my head. How could I talk about that?

"Come on, Rosalie, just tell me. You'll feel better. Please, stop crying." He seemed distressed at my constant weeping, which had slowed some since I'd arrived in what appeared to be his apartment.

I pursed my lips, barely able to breathe through the chest-wracking sobs. "I was in Amity," I began. I hadn't realized how badly I was shaking. "My... m-my mom and s-sisters... my _dad_... I don't even know who... who they were... they were in all black... I..."

The sobs picked back up and he looked almost... uncomfortable. Lack for words and lack for comfort to give me. "What happened to them?" he asked me in a calm tone. I wished I could be so composed, but who could be after... after_ that_.

"They_ shot_ them," I replied through my sobs.

"Who shot them?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "I don't know, I don't know... they were in all black and.. and..."

He got up and went to the kitchen, pulling a cup from the cupboard and filling it with water.

I accepted it gratefully when he offered it. "It was so _real_, Eric..." I thought of tonight, when I would meet my dad under the ferris wheel. I don't know what I would do without him. Without my family.

He put a strong hand on my knee and took the cup back when I handed it back, empty. "Lay down," he said, "get some rest." It was an order masked with kindness. He clearly had a tough time seeing so much raw emotion. He didn't know how to react. He was so hard and callous. My crying was absolutely foreign.

I nodded and laid back on the bed. It was much softer than the rough bunkbeds in the initiate's room. I heard the swishing of fabric being rubbed and boots getting pulled on and looked over to see he was getting ready to leave. "Eric," I called out hoarsly. My voice had nearly gone away from me from crying so hard. He turned and raised a brow. I pursed my lips. "Will you stay? I... don't want to be alone."

Eric ran a hand through his short blonde hair and sighed, clenching his jaw. "Okay," he said after a while. "Only if you go to sleep."

I nodded and he dragged a chair over from a small table under the window, setting it across from the bed and sitting.

It seemed so odd, that I found comfort in such a stoic man, hard and cold and emotionless, but I was closer to him than I was with anyone in Dauntless. We'd kissed. More than once. I reached a hand up to my mouth unconsciously and tugged at my healing bottom lip, color flushing my cheeks at the remembrance. He cared about me. He wouldn't go through so much trouble to help me if he didn't. He wouldn't stay with me.

I looked up at him, staring in awe at his features. He was looking out the window, eyes as hard as ever, jaw locked and arms crossed. The look of deep concentration suited him well.

He must have noticed my stare, because his steel-grey eyes were on me in an instant. "Sleep," he said, and I quickly looked away, my cheeks red hot, and closed my eyes and curled up in the sheet.

Allowing my emotionally drained body to rest was as easy as blinking.

And, like a blink of the eye, I was awake again.

The sun was gone and the room was black. I sat up straight, the walls unfamiliar and unregistered in my brain. I scanned the room until I noticed Eric's form sitting on the chair. _He stayed all night_, I thought in wonderment. He was snoring softly, hunched over in the hard wood chair. I relaxed and thought about waking him so he could sleep on his bed while I went back to my own bed, but then I remembered I was supposed to meet my father under the ferris wheel.

I got up quickly and went to his bathroom, splashing my face with cold water and drying it off, the feeling of dried tears too much for me to stand. I looked out the window and saw the wind pick up, so I grabbed his heavy sweater and pulled it on over my thick top.

Quietly I tiptoed to the front door and let myself out.

Walking the halls without Eric was sort of frightening. I hadn't really done much without him for weeks, and the sound of my single pair of boots echoing against the walls made me nervous. Like I was waiting to be dragged away and pushed over the Chasm, like what had happened to Lucas Hershel.

But nothing happened.

I reached the train quickly and jumped on, riding out to the outskirts of the city until I reached the ferris wheel.

Jumping out, I rolled and tucked into myself. When I got up, I noticed a figure under the legs of the wheel.

I carefully walked up to it, staying near the shadows, and when I saw my dad I felt the tears coming to my eyes again. "_Dad_!" I ran to him and he sighed in relief when I wrapped my arms around him. He held me back tight and kissed my forehead.

"I didn't think you were coming. It's been dark for hours."

"I'll always come," I said, offering a smile and taking in that he was alive and just as I remembered him. "What did you need to tell me, dad? I need to get back to the compound soon. If anyone caught me leaving without my partner I could get into serious trouble."

He nodded and raked a hand through his light cream curls. "Rosie, there's a problem. I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to stay calm, okay?" I bobbed my head. "Baby, you've always been different. You know that. Your mother and I always had an inkling... but now I know. You choosing Dauntless confirmed it for me, even though I didn't want it to be true... But with Erudite doing what they're doing, I _need_ to tell you. Honey, you didn't score for Amity on your aptitude test."

I raised a brow. "Yes I did," I said incredulously.

"No, that's just what they entered for you, what they told you. Baby, you're different. You're Divergent."

I tilted my head. "_Divergent_? What is that?"

"You don't fit into one faction, your mind works different than everyone else's. They can't control you. You're stronger than them."

"They? Who is this '_they_'?"

"Erudite. They're tracking all of the Divergent. They're studying you." My father leaned in close and whispered, "they're planning on making an army."

I stepped back and gasped. "An _army_? Why would Erudite need an army?" This wasn't adding up. If any army was made, it would be made by Dauntless.

"They want to take over the factions. They're planning to create a serum to make the Divergent heed to them. Evan Matthews is in on it, I know it. That boy has always been troubled... I bet he was the one who pushed Lucas Hershel. Found out he wasn't really Divergent and got angry that he'd wasted so much time. You need to be on your guard, Rosalie. They're going to be after you."

I couldn't comprehend any of this. It was in one ear and out the other. I was _Divergent_? Why did Erudite want to take over the factions? Everything was doing just fine. I looked at my dad, confused, and he frowned. "I don't want you hurt baby. I need to warn you about the second round of initiation. It's always easy for Divergents to pass. You need to learn to slow down and try and face your fears like a Dauntless would."

"Dad, how do you know so much about Divergents? How do you know so much about _any_ of this?"

He looked at me with pursed lips and my eyes went wide. He was Divergent. "I transferred from Dauntless to lead a better life... a life with your mother. I couldn't stay there. They were getting suspicious. They still are. They'll take any Divergent they can get, I'm sure." He looked at me softly and sighed. "I didn't want to have to tell you all of this. I hoped you would pick Amity where I could make sure you acted right..."

"I'm sorry," I breathed, still in shock. I really _wasn't_ Amity.

I thought back to how many times Eric asked me if I truly scored Amity or not and pursed my lips. He was an Erudite transfer... what if he_ didn't_ care about me? What if he was going to turn me in? I tugged at his sweater with tears of betrayal in my eyes.

"I have to go now, Rosie," my dad said quietly. "Go back to Dauntless and _act normal_. I'll find a way to talk to you again." He pulled me in for another hug. "I love you, my milk-and-honey girl."

On the train ride home I was more confused than I'd ever been. I had only just found out who I was in Dauntless, and now I realize it was all fabricated. I had no idea who I was. _W__hat_ I was.

And I wasn't sure I wanted to find out.


End file.
